Food Dude

2 hours ago

Like : 21 - Comment : 10

When I arrived at work this morning, I noticed my co workers decorated my desk to celebrate my birthday today and I was so happy to party with everyone on my special day. I got gifts, a really nice lunch, a whole bunch of happy birthdays and there was even cake. I was absolutely surprised and thankful for everything. As a treat, they got me this Oh My Birthday Cake Oreo Donut from Donut Bar in downtown San Diego. One of the best Donuts on Earth is a birthday cake Oreo stuffed inside a Donut and covered in Cake batter glaze, pastel sequins and crumbled Cookie crumbs. It’s sweet, it’s delicious and it’s the only excuse to enjoy getting older. Blow out your candles and wish for this delicious Donut today. After everyone ate their food and sang me happy birthday, I had to come clean To the office. It isn’t actually my birthday today, I’m actually an April Fools baby. Which is why all of this makes a little more sense to my co workers now. I may have lost some friends today but I gained some pounds. Life is all about compromise. So delicious you’ll wear your birthday hat to the big work meeting. at Donut BarWhen I arrived at work this morning, I noticed my co workers decorated my desk to celebrate my birthday today and I was so happy to party with everyone on my special day. I got gifts, a really nice lunch, a whole bunch of happy birthdays and there was even cake. I was absolutely surprised and thankful for everything. As a treat, they got me this Oh My Birthday Cake Oreo Donut from Donut Bar in downtown San Diego. One of the best Donuts on Earth is a birthday cake Oreo stuffed inside a Donut and covered in Cake batter glaze, pastel sequins and crumbled Cookie crumbs. It’s sweet, it’s delicious and it’s the only excuse to enjoy getting older. Blow out your candles and wish for this delicious Donut today. After everyone ate their food and sang me happy birthday, I had to come clean To the office. It isn’t actually my birthday today, I’m actually an April Fools baby. Which is why all of this makes a little more sense to my co workers now. I may have lost some friends today but I gained some pounds. Life is all about compromise. So delicious you’ll wear your birthday hat to the big work meeting. at Donut Bar
2 days ago

Like : 49 - Comment : 4

My brother gifted me with a new digital watch that syncs up with my phone and safe to say I was super excited to get it all set up and personalized for my crazy lifestyle. My brother needed to take a phone call and said to give him about ten minutes and he will help me set it up, no problem bro beans. When he came back, he was shocked to see I set the damn thing up myself. I had all my favorite restaurants already pinned on my map, I turned off the workout app because I don’t need that kinda negativity in my life and I even set up Siri to know what’s good. I told Siri to order me some of these Pretzel Bites from Ballast Point in Little Italy. Crunchy and scrumptious Pretzels that are served next to their house made Sculpin Beer Cheese and California Amber Mustard. It’s the best bar snack on Earth and the only thing my belly needs when it comes to new technology. Sync your belly with these pretty tasty Pretzels today. My brother was not impressed by my shenanigans and took the goddamn watch back. Before he turned it off, it showed him the closest store that sells stretchy pants. This is why I can’t have nice things. So delicious you’ll buy a watch case to protect from Cheese sauce spillage. at Ballast Point: Little ItalyMy brother gifted me with a new digital watch that syncs up with my phone and safe to say I was super excited to get it all set up and personalized for my crazy lifestyle. My brother needed to take a phone call and said to give him about ten minutes and he will help me set it up, no problem bro beans. When he came back, he was shocked to see I set the damn thing up myself. I had all my favorite restaurants already pinned on my map, I turned off the workout app because I don’t need that kinda negativity in my life and I even set up Siri to know what’s good. I told Siri to order me some of these Pretzel Bites from Ballast Point in Little Italy. Crunchy and scrumptious Pretzels that are served next to their house made Sculpin Beer Cheese and California Amber Mustard. It’s the best bar snack on Earth and the only thing my belly needs when it comes to new technology. Sync your belly with these pretty tasty Pretzels today. My brother was not impressed by my shenanigans and took the goddamn watch back. Before he turned it off, it showed him the closest store that sells stretchy pants. This is why I can’t have nice things. So delicious you’ll buy a watch case to protect from Cheese sauce spillage. at Ballast Point: Little Italy
3 days ago

Like : 54 - Comment : 3

Needing a break from the city, I traveled to this fancy bed and breakfast in the mountains this weekend and I was excited to escape the hustle and bustle and get some well deserved R&R. When I arrived, the receptionist/yoga instructor guided me to my tranquil room and gave me some green tea as well as incense to cleanse me of the bad spirits. No problem, I’ll roll with it. After our Bikram Yoga session and morning meditation, I went to the resort food hall and checked our their selection of grub. Kale salad, gluten free organic blueberry muffins and free range, grass fed Turkey sliders were some of the headliners. As delicious as they all sounded, nothing was doing it for me. So I snuck in this Elote cup from The Santee Alley in Los Angeles. Elote reinvented is Corn in a cup covered in Mayo, Cheese, Chili powder and Chili sauce. It’s spicy, it’s sweet and it’s the perfect way to recharge your hunger batteries. Open your third eye for this delicious snack today. I stuffed my face and just in time for my acupuncture session. The acupuncturist ignored that I was covered in Mayo and Cheese like a true professional. 5 star service from Flavortown Yelp. So delicious you’ll book a belly massage. at The Santee AlleyNeeding a break from the city, I traveled to this fancy bed and breakfast in the mountains this weekend and I was excited to escape the hustle and bustle and get some well deserved R&R. When I arrived, the receptionist/yoga instructor guided me to my tranquil room and gave me some green tea as well as incense to cleanse me of the bad spirits. No problem, I’ll roll with it. After our Bikram Yoga session and morning meditation, I went to the resort food hall and checked our their selection of grub. Kale salad, gluten free organic blueberry muffins and free range, grass fed Turkey sliders were some of the headliners. As delicious as they all sounded, nothing was doing it for me. So I snuck in this Elote cup from The Santee Alley in Los Angeles. Elote reinvented is Corn in a cup covered in Mayo, Cheese, Chili powder and Chili sauce. It’s spicy, it’s sweet and it’s the perfect way to recharge your hunger batteries. Open your third eye for this delicious snack today. I stuffed my face and just in time for my acupuncture session. The acupuncturist ignored that I was covered in Mayo and Cheese like a true professional. 5 star service from Flavortown Yelp. So delicious you’ll book a belly massage. at The Santee Alley
4 days ago

Like : 43 - Comment : 3

Being single can be tough so I decided to try something new and went speed dating for the first time and I was excited to meet tons of single and interesting women. Admittedly, I had too many Gin & Tonics at the dive bar across the street beforehand, so I showed up nice and saucy. I sat down with my first date and we really started to establish a connection, that is until 2 minutes later when she had to switch to another dude. It only went downhill from there. From prison parolees to girls who have active restraining orders from their ex’s, it was fucking brutal. The host witnessed my agony and decided to intervene. He matched me up with these Totoro Steamed Buns from Harumama Noodles and Buns in Little Italy. The cutest and tastiest Steamed Buns ever, they are stuffed with BBQ Beef and Mashed Potatoes. It’s the flavor explosion you were hoping to set off and the best bae to be with during cuffing season. Swipe right on these beautiful Buns today. I inhaled one of the Buns and took the other one home with me. I wanted the ladies to see me leave with someone. I’m so damn petty. So delicious you’ll change your relationship status to stuffed. at Harumama Noodles and BunsBeing single can be tough so I decided to try something new and went speed dating for the first time and I was excited to meet tons of single and interesting women. Admittedly, I had too many Gin & Tonics at the dive bar across the street beforehand, so I showed up nice and saucy. I sat down with my first date and we really started to establish a connection, that is until 2 minutes later when she had to switch to another dude. It only went downhill from there. From prison parolees to girls who have active restraining orders from their ex’s, it was fucking brutal. The host witnessed my agony and decided to intervene. He matched me up with these Totoro Steamed Buns from Harumama Noodles and Buns in Little Italy. The cutest and tastiest Steamed Buns ever, they are stuffed with BBQ Beef and Mashed Potatoes. It’s the flavor explosion you were hoping to set off and the best bae to be with during cuffing season. Swipe right on these beautiful Buns today. I inhaled one of the Buns and took the other one home with me. I wanted the ladies to see me leave with someone. I’m so damn petty. So delicious you’ll change your relationship status to stuffed. at Harumama Noodles and Buns
6 days ago

Like : 64 - Comment : 6

My brother came to visit me in San Diego and I was excited to take him around my beautiful city and show him some of the best sights and eats we have to offer. First place we went was K-Mart. While it’s the same as the one back home, I needed to get some cereal and band aids. Then we went to the world famous beach museum. While it’s not exactly as fun and festive as the actual beach would be, we did learn a lot about the history of beaches and sand. Very informative. He was getting super hungry and instead of the normal California Burrito, we bought a plane ticket to Maine with these fully stuffed Maine Lobster Tacos from Wicked Maine Lobster at the Little Italy Food Hall. Huge Tacos that are overflowing with fresh Lobster, Scallops, a zesty Coleslaw, melted Butter and Cheesy Tortillas. It’s absolutely incredible and the best reason to visit our gorgeous city. Make time on your vacation to go to Flavortown with these terrific Tacos today. My brother somewhat enjoyed his trip and thanked me for the hospitality as he loaded into his car to drive back to the Bay Area. Hopefully he tells the rest of my family this horror story, I won’t have to make up the spare air bed ever again. So delicious you’ll pay for your plane ticket back home with Tacos. at Little Italy Food HallMy brother came to visit me in San Diego and I was excited to take him around my beautiful city and show him some of the best sights and eats we have to offer. First place we went was K-Mart. While it’s the same as the one back home, I needed to get some cereal and band aids. Then we went to the world famous beach museum. While it’s not exactly as fun and festive as the actual beach would be, we did learn a lot about the history of beaches and sand. Very informative. He was getting super hungry and instead of the normal California Burrito, we bought a plane ticket to Maine with these fully stuffed Maine Lobster Tacos from Wicked Maine Lobster at the Little Italy Food Hall. Huge Tacos that are overflowing with fresh Lobster, Scallops, a zesty Coleslaw, melted Butter and Cheesy Tortillas. It’s absolutely incredible and the best reason to visit our gorgeous city. Make time on your vacation to go to Flavortown with these terrific Tacos today. My brother somewhat enjoyed his trip and thanked me for the hospitality as he loaded into his car to drive back to the Bay Area. Hopefully he tells the rest of my family this horror story, I won’t have to make up the spare air bed ever again. So delicious you’ll pay for your plane ticket back home with Tacos. at Little Italy Food Hall
8 days ago

Like : 65 - Comment : 4

After binge watching a bunch of episodes of Forensic Files on Netflix, I decided to use my new found skill of detecting and assist the local law enforcement with some of their unsolved cold cases. And after getting turned away due to my lack of experience and overall shitty attitude, the police chief finally caved in and gave me a case to solve, much to my chagrin. The case was about a missing farm animal from a local farm, the only clues were some footprints and a broken barn door lock. First rule of detecting: always question the spouse. In this case, the farm owner dude. He had recently taken out a pricey insurance policy on his cows, right before the mysterious disappearance. I felt like I knew who done did it. I squeezed the perps shoes a little and he buckled under pressure, admitting that he sent the cow away to “another farm” and just needed money to get by. What an asshole. In order to buy my silence, he got me this Ballast Point Burger from Ballast Point in Little Italy. A juicy, fully loaded Hamburger that’s accompanied by some some golden and crunchy French Fries and a delicious Beer. It’s tasty, it’s filling and it will make you look the other way when it comes to criminal cases. Solve the case of your empty stomach with this bodacious burger today. I quickly ate the food and tore up my case file, but I warned the farm dude that if I caught him slipping again, I would annihilate him. I proclaimed my love for cows as I was stuffing my face with a burger. Irony isn’t my strong suit. So delicious you’ll solve the case by telling the Chief the cow mysteriously spontaneously combusted. at Ballast Point: Little ItalyAfter binge watching a bunch of episodes of Forensic Files on Netflix, I decided to use my new found skill of detecting and assist the local law enforcement with some of their unsolved cold cases. And after getting turned away due to my lack of experience and overall shitty attitude, the police chief finally caved in and gave me a case to solve, much to my chagrin. The case was about a missing farm animal from a local farm, the only clues were some footprints and a broken barn door lock. First rule of detecting: always question the spouse. In this case, the farm owner dude. He had recently taken out a pricey insurance policy on his cows, right before the mysterious disappearance. I felt like I knew who done did it. I squeezed the perps shoes a little and he buckled under pressure, admitting that he sent the cow away to “another farm” and just needed money to get by. What an asshole. In order to buy my silence, he got me this Ballast Point Burger from Ballast Point in Little Italy. A juicy, fully loaded Hamburger that’s accompanied by some some golden and crunchy French Fries and a delicious Beer. It’s tasty, it’s filling and it will make you look the other way when it comes to criminal cases. Solve the case of your empty stomach with this bodacious burger today. I quickly ate the food and tore up my case file, but I warned the farm dude that if I caught him slipping again, I would annihilate him. I proclaimed my love for cows as I was stuffing my face with a burger. Irony isn’t my strong suit. So delicious you’ll solve the case by telling the Chief the cow mysteriously spontaneously combusted. at Ballast Point: Little Italy
9 days ago

Like : 70 - Comment : 5

Breakups are never fun but after our latest fight this past weekend, I decided to end things with my longtime girlfriend and I brought tissues and some aspirin because I had a feeling this wasn’t going to be an easy one. I took her out to a nice dinner, plenty of witnesses, I mean people, so she wouldn’t make a goddamn scene, got her some cold Chardonnay and began the ugly process. She was caught off guard and shocked but seeing how she was angrily gripping her fork, I was afraid that I was invoking a different, much more aggressive reaction. I quickly grabbed the waiter and ordered her favorite pizza, this Pizza Con Prosciutto E Rucola from Davanti Enoteca in Little Italy. Paper thin and hella crispy crust that’s layered heavy with fresh cut Prosciutto di Parma, fresh Mozzarella and Fontina cheese and hella Arugula. It’s beyond tasty and the best way to avoid a beat down from your then ex-girlfriend. Get a restraining order from hunger with this perfect pie today. I brought a box of her things she left at my apartment, which was perfect as a shield for when she started swinging on me. Dating can be difficult, it has heightened difficulty when your loved one is trained in Martial Arts. Picking up girls at the MMA academy, who could’ve seen that one backfiring. So delicious you’ll tell the doctor you fell down some stairs a few times, explaining all the new fractures. at Davanti Enoteca San DiegoBreakups are never fun but after our latest fight this past weekend, I decided to end things with my longtime girlfriend and I brought tissues and some aspirin because I had a feeling this wasn’t going to be an easy one. I took her out to a nice dinner, plenty of witnesses, I mean people, so she wouldn’t make a goddamn scene, got her some cold Chardonnay and began the ugly process. She was caught off guard and shocked but seeing how she was angrily gripping her fork, I was afraid that I was invoking a different, much more aggressive reaction. I quickly grabbed the waiter and ordered her favorite pizza, this Pizza Con Prosciutto E Rucola from Davanti Enoteca in Little Italy. Paper thin and hella crispy crust that’s layered heavy with fresh cut Prosciutto di Parma, fresh Mozzarella and Fontina cheese and hella Arugula. It’s beyond tasty and the best way to avoid a beat down from your then ex-girlfriend. Get a restraining order from hunger with this perfect pie today. I brought a box of her things she left at my apartment, which was perfect as a shield for when she started swinging on me. Dating can be difficult, it has heightened difficulty when your loved one is trained in Martial Arts. Picking up girls at the MMA academy, who could’ve seen that one backfiring. So delicious you’ll tell the doctor you fell down some stairs a few times, explaining all the new fractures. at Davanti Enoteca San Diego
10 days ago

Like : 49 - Comment : 5

Normally Sunday’s are reserved for lounging around, catching up on laundry or watching football, all things I was looking forward to today. Instead, my buddy asked me to help him move into his new apartment and I was not too thrilled to be wasting a perfect Sunday. He said it was going to be a small job, shouldn’t take more than an hour. 4 hours, 2 broken fingers and a crushed foot later, we wrapped up the giant move and he could sense I was pretty upset. Having the ottoman fall on top of me really pushed me over the edge. Call me old fashioned. In an attempt to save our friendship, he took me to get this Breakfast platter and amazing Pumpkin Pancakes from Harbor Breakfast in Little Italy. We’re talking scrambled Eggs, super crispy Bacon and fresh Avocado that is tag teamed with fluffy and sweet Pumpkin Pancakes. Evict hunger from your Flavortown condo with this bodacious brunch today. I thoroughly enjoyed the meal and forgave my friend for putting me through hell. We went to shake hands and I cringed in utter pain as he squeezed my injured hand. At least my stomach isn’t broken. So delicious you’ll need help moving into a hospital. at Harbor BreakfastNormally Sunday’s are reserved for lounging around, catching up on laundry or watching football, all things I was looking forward to today. Instead, my buddy asked me to help him move into his new apartment and I was not too thrilled to be wasting a perfect Sunday. He said it was going to be a small job, shouldn’t take more than an hour. 4 hours, 2 broken fingers and a crushed foot later, we wrapped up the giant move and he could sense I was pretty upset. Having the ottoman fall on top of me really pushed me over the edge. Call me old fashioned. In an attempt to save our friendship, he took me to get this Breakfast platter and amazing Pumpkin Pancakes from Harbor Breakfast in Little Italy. We’re talking scrambled Eggs, super crispy Bacon and fresh Avocado that is tag teamed with fluffy and sweet Pumpkin Pancakes. Evict hunger from your Flavortown condo with this bodacious brunch today. I thoroughly enjoyed the meal and forgave my friend for putting me through hell. We went to shake hands and I cringed in utter pain as he squeezed my injured hand. At least my stomach isn’t broken. So delicious you’ll need help moving into a hospital. at Harbor Breakfast
11 days ago

Like : 44 - Comment : 3

After going to the club last night and celebrating my friends birthday, the whole night was a fun blur after that last Tequila shot and 4th AMF chaser. I now know why it’s earned it’s name. And when I resurrected from the dead this morning, hungover and bruised, I noticed I was not alone in my bed as there was a sleeping beauty to my left. And she was wearing my favorite shirt. Not cool but we’ll move on. I gently shook the unrecognizable girl like a can of paint and was too embarrassed to ask her name this late in the game so I quickly invited her to lunch, all while offering her another shirt. I may not remember how I got home or this girl’s name but I know I wanted this Pollo Al Limoncello from Davanti Enoteca Ristorante in beautiful Little Italy. Grilled Chicken chilling on a bed of Baby Spinach, roasted Cauliflower, fresh Cherry Tomatoes, Meyer Lemon Conserva and Shallots all in a pool of their insanely incredible Limoncello Prosecco Vinaigrette. It’s easily one of the best things I’ve ever eaten and the best hangover elixir. Blackout from eating this deliciously healthy chicken today. The girl spilled some sauce on my goddamn shirt and I had enough. Asking her name made her cry and storm off. Without paying and taking my shirt with her. Fan-fucking-tastic. I think we all learned a lesson today: always take notes at the bar. So delicious you’ll hide your good shirts from now on. at Davanti Enoteca San DiegoAfter going to the club last night and celebrating my friends birthday, the whole night was a fun blur after that last Tequila shot and 4th AMF chaser. I now know why it’s earned it’s name. And when I resurrected from the dead this morning, hungover and bruised, I noticed I was not alone in my bed as there was a sleeping beauty to my left. And she was wearing my favorite shirt. Not cool but we’ll move on. I gently shook the unrecognizable girl like a can of paint and was too embarrassed to ask her name this late in the game so I quickly invited her to lunch, all while offering her another shirt. I may not remember how I got home or this girl’s name but I know I wanted this Pollo Al Limoncello from Davanti Enoteca Ristorante in beautiful Little Italy. Grilled Chicken chilling on a bed of Baby Spinach, roasted Cauliflower, fresh Cherry Tomatoes, Meyer Lemon Conserva and Shallots all in a pool of their insanely incredible Limoncello Prosecco Vinaigrette. It’s easily one of the best things I’ve ever eaten and the best hangover elixir. Blackout from eating this deliciously healthy chicken today. The girl spilled some sauce on my goddamn shirt and I had enough. Asking her name made her cry and storm off. Without paying and taking my shirt with her. Fan-fucking-tastic. I think we all learned a lesson today: always take notes at the bar. So delicious you’ll hide your good shirts from now on. at Davanti Enoteca San Diego
14 days ago

Like : 46 - Comment : 4

When I got to work this morning, I was ready for a super productive October 3rd workday but was blindsided by something totally unexpected. During lunch, I went to go eat with my co workers and they said I couldn’t sit with them today. Odd, every other day I sit with them and eat my sad sandwich, why is today any different. Then I noticed they were all wearing the color Pink and I had a hunch that’s why they didn’t let me take a seat. Instead of just running to the store and buying a pink tie, I went the better and much more drunken route. I got all of the girls this Margarita Loca from Chacho’s Mexican Restaurant in downtown San Jose. Hands down one of my favorite drinks to chug when visiting back home, this boozy beauty is Tequila, Orange & Lime juice, Agave Nectar, a 50ML bottle of Grand Marnier and a Tamarind candy. It’s spicy, it’s sweet, and it gets you drunk. A true triple play. Don’t be a mean girl and drink this bad boy today. After they finished their drinks, they finally allowed me to sit with them. I was elated, that is until I realized they were finished with lunch and were leaving anyway. I’ll just wear pink tomorrow to get in their good graces. So delicious you’ll be joined during lunch by our office janitor, Aaron Samuels. at Chacho's Mexican RestaurantWhen I got to work this morning, I was ready for a super productive October 3rd workday but was blindsided by something totally unexpected. During lunch, I went to go eat with my co workers and they said I couldn’t sit with them today. Odd, every other day I sit with them and eat my sad sandwich, why is today any different. Then I noticed they were all wearing the color Pink and I had a hunch that’s why they didn’t let me take a seat. Instead of just running to the store and buying a pink tie, I went the better and much more drunken route. I got all of the girls this Margarita Loca from Chacho’s Mexican Restaurant in downtown San Jose. Hands down one of my favorite drinks to chug when visiting back home, this boozy beauty is Tequila, Orange & Lime juice, Agave Nectar, a 50ML bottle of Grand Marnier and a Tamarind candy. It’s spicy, it’s sweet, and it gets you drunk. A true triple play. Don’t be a mean girl and drink this bad boy today. After they finished their drinks, they finally allowed me to sit with them. I was elated, that is until I realized they were finished with lunch and were leaving anyway. I’ll just wear pink tomorrow to get in their good graces. So delicious you’ll be joined during lunch by our office janitor, Aaron Samuels. at Chacho's Mexican Restaurant
18 days ago

Like : 83 - Comment : 5

My friends and I went to the theater to watch the newest superhero movie last night and I gotta say I was pretty pumped up when it was all said and done. While I was walking home after the movie, I had my very own superhero moment. A young girl was crying because her cat was stuck in a tree and she couldn’t retrieve the bugger. A tale as old as time. I rushed into danger and attempted to get the cat down, but nothing I was doing was working. Then it hit me and my belly simultaneously. I tried to lure the cat down with this Cuban Sandwich from Brian’s 24 Restaurant in downtown San Diego. Herb roasted Pork Loin, hickory smoked Ham, tons of Swiss cheese, Mayo & Mustard and a goddamn fried Pickle all stuffed into fresh bread served next to all you can eat Fries. It’s hearty, it’s amazing and it’s any villains kryptonite. Save yourself from hunger with this super sandwich today. Even with the food in his sight, the stupid cat wouldn’t budge. So I grabbed the branch and accidentally broke it as he and the branch plummeted to the ground. I won’t get into details but let’s just say I’ll be paying for a cat funeral here pretty soon. Looks like I’m the villain now. Rest In Peace Mr. Whiskerson. So delicious you’ll give the grieving owner a Cuban Sandwich. at Brian's 24 Restaurant Bar & GrillMy friends and I went to the theater to watch the newest superhero movie last night and I gotta say I was pretty pumped up when it was all said and done. While I was walking home after the movie, I had my very own superhero moment. A young girl was crying because her cat was stuck in a tree and she couldn’t retrieve the bugger. A tale as old as time. I rushed into danger and attempted to get the cat down, but nothing I was doing was working. Then it hit me and my belly simultaneously. I tried to lure the cat down with this Cuban Sandwich from Brian’s 24 Restaurant in downtown San Diego. Herb roasted Pork Loin, hickory smoked Ham, tons of Swiss cheese, Mayo & Mustard and a goddamn fried Pickle all stuffed into fresh bread served next to all you can eat Fries. It’s hearty, it’s amazing and it’s any villains kryptonite. Save yourself from hunger with this super sandwich today. Even with the food in his sight, the stupid cat wouldn’t budge. So I grabbed the branch and accidentally broke it as he and the branch plummeted to the ground. I won’t get into details but let’s just say I’ll be paying for a cat funeral here pretty soon. Looks like I’m the villain now. Rest In Peace Mr. Whiskerson. So delicious you’ll give the grieving owner a Cuban Sandwich. at Brian's 24 Restaurant Bar & Grill
22 days ago

Like : 49 - Comment : 5

Recently, I was appointed to be the lead minutes taker of my nieces PTA meetings and it was an absolute honor to be elected by the Board President but we ended up hitting a speed bump along the way. Supposedly, we had an unnamed female come forward with serious allegations that threatened my confirmation hearing, and I was told that I needed to talk to my lawyer to see what the next steps look like. I was quoted saying the accuser was “totally inebriated and all messed up” but I needed to stop talking to the goddamn press and get some answers. When finally confronted, the allegations were that I went on a date with a pretty girl, we had plenty of drinks and supposedly I ate her Pan Roasted Salmon platter from The University Club when she went to the restroom. When perfectly cooked and flaky Fish is coated in house made, whole grain Mustard sauce and resting on a bed of tender Asparagus and baby Potatoes, you have the tastiest meal around and the only reason to testify on your own behalf. Be found guilty of treason against hunger with this fresh fish today. My Board President aggressively defended me and tweeted that the rival school district was conducting a witch hunt against me. Let’s hope more of my blind dates don’t come forward with more food related allegations, I know there’s more than one. So delicious you’ll pay off the victim with seafood. at University Club Atop Symphony TowersRecently, I was appointed to be the lead minutes taker of my nieces PTA meetings and it was an absolute honor to be elected by the Board President but we ended up hitting a speed bump along the way. Supposedly, we had an unnamed female come forward with serious allegations that threatened my confirmation hearing, and I was told that I needed to talk to my lawyer to see what the next steps look like. I was quoted saying the accuser was “totally inebriated and all messed up” but I needed to stop talking to the goddamn press and get some answers. When finally confronted, the allegations were that I went on a date with a pretty girl, we had plenty of drinks and supposedly I ate her Pan Roasted Salmon platter from The University Club when she went to the restroom. When perfectly cooked and flaky Fish is coated in house made, whole grain Mustard sauce and resting on a bed of tender Asparagus and baby Potatoes, you have the tastiest meal around and the only reason to testify on your own behalf. Be found guilty of treason against hunger with this fresh fish today. My Board President aggressively defended me and tweeted that the rival school district was conducting a witch hunt against me. Let’s hope more of my blind dates don’t come forward with more food related allegations, I know there’s more than one. So delicious you’ll pay off the victim with seafood. at University Club Atop Symphony Towers
23 days ago

Like : 48 - Comment : 3

I was up super late last night working on a big presentation for work, so you could imagine the absolute horror I felt when I awoke late this morning and scrambled to get to the office. I loosely threw on my tie and grabbed the thumb drive containing the presentation, all while sprinting out the door. I showed up to work an hour late and apologized for my tardiness as I loaded up the PowerPoint on the projector. It felt like I dodged a bullet. That is until I realized I grabbed the wrong thumb drive because all on it were pictures from my vacation to Flavortown like this Coppa Pizza from Nolita Hall in Little Italy. Paper thin and crunchy crust is made exponentially better with Bianco Organic Tomato sauce, fresh Mozzarella and Pecorino Cheese, California Black Olives, Capicola and fresh Basil. It’s what your stomach has been asking for and the best way to piss off your boss. Make a pie chart of how stuffed you are with this perfect pie today. Not knowing what to do, I still gave the goddamn presentation. Mama didn’t raise no quitter. She also didn’t raise the brightest kid. Unemployment is going to get a kick out of this one. So delicious you’ll never give a presentation while hungry again. at Nolita HallI was up super late last night working on a big presentation for work, so you could imagine the absolute horror I felt when I awoke late this morning and scrambled to get to the office. I loosely threw on my tie and grabbed the thumb drive containing the presentation, all while sprinting out the door. I showed up to work an hour late and apologized for my tardiness as I loaded up the PowerPoint on the projector. It felt like I dodged a bullet. That is until I realized I grabbed the wrong thumb drive because all on it were pictures from my vacation to Flavortown like this Coppa Pizza from Nolita Hall in Little Italy. Paper thin and crunchy crust is made exponentially better with Bianco Organic Tomato sauce, fresh Mozzarella and Pecorino Cheese, California Black Olives, Capicola and fresh Basil. It’s what your stomach has been asking for and the best way to piss off your boss. Make a pie chart of how stuffed you are with this perfect pie today. Not knowing what to do, I still gave the goddamn presentation. Mama didn’t raise no quitter. She also didn’t raise the brightest kid. Unemployment is going to get a kick out of this one. So delicious you’ll never give a presentation while hungry again. at Nolita Hall
24 days ago

Like : 87 - Comment : 11

Knowing a good investment when I see one, I ignored my better judgement and decided to purchase a race horse to carry on the illustrious history that is fair horse racing. You wouldn’t believe the price for a horse nowadays, it’s astronomical. For that price, that goddamn horse better talk to me like Mr. Ed. Anyway, when it came to our first race day, I still had not named the bugger and needed to submit a name in order to participate. Letting my belly do the thinking, I named the horse Surf and Turf Burrito after this beauty from King & Queen Cantina in Little Italy. One of the tastiest burritos I have ever had, it’s chock full of Bacon wrapped Shrimp, Carne Asada, Cheese, Cabbage, Pico de Gallo, Chipotle Aioli, Serrano sauce and wrapped delicately in a flour tortilla. Served next to a bed of chips, this belly buster is the best performance enhancer when racing at the Flavortown race tracks. Let your belly finish in first with this bodacious burrito today. I took my seat and eagerly awaited the race to begin. I’ll just sum it up for you: my horse finished last because he fell asleep in the stable prior to the start. Guess giving him some of my burrito beforehand backfired. The itis strikes again. So delicious you’ll have to wake up the horse to ride him home. at King and Queen CantinaKnowing a good investment when I see one, I ignored my better judgement and decided to purchase a race horse to carry on the illustrious history that is fair horse racing. You wouldn’t believe the price for a horse nowadays, it’s astronomical. For that price, that goddamn horse better talk to me like Mr. Ed. Anyway, when it came to our first race day, I still had not named the bugger and needed to submit a name in order to participate. Letting my belly do the thinking, I named the horse Surf and Turf Burrito after this beauty from King & Queen Cantina in Little Italy. One of the tastiest burritos I have ever had, it’s chock full of Bacon wrapped Shrimp, Carne Asada, Cheese, Cabbage, Pico de Gallo, Chipotle Aioli, Serrano sauce and wrapped delicately in a flour tortilla. Served next to a bed of chips, this belly buster is the best performance enhancer when racing at the Flavortown race tracks. Let your belly finish in first with this bodacious burrito today. I took my seat and eagerly awaited the race to begin. I’ll just sum it up for you: my horse finished last because he fell asleep in the stable prior to the start. Guess giving him some of my burrito beforehand backfired. The itis strikes again. So delicious you’ll have to wake up the horse to ride him home. at King and Queen Cantina
25 days ago

Like : 53 - Comment : 3

Wanting to change up my professional career, I decided to become a travel agent and was hell bent on reviving a dying industry. With all of the technological advances we have had in travel, you could book an entire trip from the comfort of your couch, even get a virtual tour of the goddamn hotel. It’s crazy. My first client came in this morning and I was ready to send this dude on the best damn vacation ever. He wanted to go near a beach, preferably in the summer time and his budget was $500. Easy traveling dude. I drew out a vacation that included the plane tickets, hotel reservations, extra curricular activities and fit his budget. He was absolute giddy. My proposed trip was a one way flight to Flavortown with this Piña Para La Niña cocktail from King & Queen Cantina in Little Italy. A fiery cocktail that’s featuring Serrano infused Tequila, Agave, fresh Lime juice, Pineapple juice, Ancho Reyes infused with more Serrano peppers. It’s sets your mouth on fire and is the perfect carry on for your flight. Stamp your passport with this crazy good cocktail today. The guy was pretty confused but actually gave me his credit card to book the trip. Holy shit, didn’t think I’d get this far. Hope he enjoys his 14 hour train ride to North Dakota. I was too buzzed I didn’t actually think that one through. Story of my life. So drunk you’ll use your 5% commission on more cocktails. at King and Queen CantinaWanting to change up my professional career, I decided to become a travel agent and was hell bent on reviving a dying industry. With all of the technological advances we have had in travel, you could book an entire trip from the comfort of your couch, even get a virtual tour of the goddamn hotel. It’s crazy. My first client came in this morning and I was ready to send this dude on the best damn vacation ever. He wanted to go near a beach, preferably in the summer time and his budget was $500. Easy traveling dude. I drew out a vacation that included the plane tickets, hotel reservations, extra curricular activities and fit his budget. He was absolute giddy. My proposed trip was a one way flight to Flavortown with this Piña Para La Niña cocktail from King & Queen Cantina in Little Italy. A fiery cocktail that’s featuring Serrano infused Tequila, Agave, fresh Lime juice, Pineapple juice, Ancho Reyes infused with more Serrano peppers. It’s sets your mouth on fire and is the perfect carry on for your flight. Stamp your passport with this crazy good cocktail today. The guy was pretty confused but actually gave me his credit card to book the trip. Holy shit, didn’t think I’d get this far. Hope he enjoys his 14 hour train ride to North Dakota. I was too buzzed I didn’t actually think that one through. Story of my life. So drunk you’ll use your 5% commission on more cocktails. at King and Queen Cantina
26 days ago

Like : 49 - Comment : 6

I just got back from going camping with my friends and let me tell you, camping is not what I remember it being. When I was young and my dad would force us to go camping, it was hella minimal. I’m talking sleeping bag on the ground, one tent to house 3 of us, catch your own food and forget about cellphone service. Basically paying money to live like prison escapees. Not the best of times. My friends and I went “Glamping”, which in a nutshell was lounging in their air conditioned RV, having luxurious air beds to rest on and they had their own cellphone tower. If you don’t Snap it, it didn’t happen. So while they tussle over who gets to watch their favorite sitcom on the 70” TV, I knew what my belly really wanted. So I got this Medium Rare Flat Iron Steak from The University Club in downtown San Diego. Perfectly cooked Steak surrounded by baby Carrots, Pearl Potatoes and Shallot Jus. It’s delicious, it’s hearty and it’s the only accessory I need when glamping. Go camping in Flavortown National Park with this super Steak today. I am happy to be back in my own apartment but I guess my landlord wasn’t thrilled with me pitching a campfire in my living room. How the hell am I supposed to enjoy fresh S’mores without a fire? Didn’t realize I was paying rent for my apartment in North Korea. Ridiculous. So delicious you’ll have trouble setting up your tent in your hallway. at University Club Atop Symphony TowersI just got back from going camping with my friends and let me tell you, camping is not what I remember it being. When I was young and my dad would force us to go camping, it was hella minimal. I’m talking sleeping bag on the ground, one tent to house 3 of us, catch your own food and forget about cellphone service. Basically paying money to live like prison escapees. Not the best of times. My friends and I went “Glamping”, which in a nutshell was lounging in their air conditioned RV, having luxurious air beds to rest on and they had their own cellphone tower. If you don’t Snap it, it didn’t happen. So while they tussle over who gets to watch their favorite sitcom on the 70” TV, I knew what my belly really wanted. So I got this Medium Rare Flat Iron Steak from The University Club in downtown San Diego. Perfectly cooked Steak surrounded by baby Carrots, Pearl Potatoes and Shallot Jus. It’s delicious, it’s hearty and it’s the only accessory I need when glamping. Go camping in Flavortown National Park with this super Steak today. I am happy to be back in my own apartment but I guess my landlord wasn’t thrilled with me pitching a campfire in my living room. How the hell am I supposed to enjoy fresh S’mores without a fire? Didn’t realize I was paying rent for my apartment in North Korea. Ridiculous. So delicious you’ll have trouble setting up your tent in your hallway. at University Club Atop Symphony Towers
1 month ago

Like : 46 - Comment : 6

Growing up definitely has its perks but the downside of growing old are the hangovers that ensue even the slightest of fun nights, which I encountered this morning. I went out for a few drinks with friends last night, I didn’t even go crazy. Few beers, few AMFs, light work. But when I woke up this morning, I felt like absolute death. It was as if I got hit by a truck and the truck parked on top of me. It was horrible. The only relief in sight was this Avocado Toast and The Girabaldi cocktail at Nolita Hall in Little Italy. Toasted Sour Dough toast that’s heaped with smashed Avocado, Organic scrambled Eggs, Heirloom Tomatoes and Arugula. When paired with an amazing brunch cocktail that’s featuring Campari and fluffy OJ on ice, you have the best brunch on planet Earth and the only thing keeping me from admitting myself into the ER. Bring yourself back to life with this beautiful brunch today. The waiter came to politely take my order and I urged him not to yell at me, my ears were sensitive. I then proceeded to take three shots of Tequila. Forget hair of the dog, I need a whole coat of the dog at this point. So delicious you’ll drunkingly set your drop off point as Flavortown for your Uber driver. at Nolita HallGrowing up definitely has its perks but the downside of growing old are the hangovers that ensue even the slightest of fun nights, which I encountered this morning. I went out for a few drinks with friends last night, I didn’t even go crazy. Few beers, few AMFs, light work. But when I woke up this morning, I felt like absolute death. It was as if I got hit by a truck and the truck parked on top of me. It was horrible. The only relief in sight was this Avocado Toast and The Girabaldi cocktail at Nolita Hall in Little Italy. Toasted Sour Dough toast that’s heaped with smashed Avocado, Organic scrambled Eggs, Heirloom Tomatoes and Arugula. When paired with an amazing brunch cocktail that’s featuring Campari and fluffy OJ on ice, you have the best brunch on planet Earth and the only thing keeping me from admitting myself into the ER. Bring yourself back to life with this beautiful brunch today. The waiter came to politely take my order and I urged him not to yell at me, my ears were sensitive. I then proceeded to take three shots of Tequila. Forget hair of the dog, I need a whole coat of the dog at this point. So delicious you’ll drunkingly set your drop off point as Flavortown for your Uber driver. at Nolita Hall
1 month ago

Like : 48 - Comment : 3

Recently I came across an ad posted that was searching for test subjects in a number of scientific experiments, with participation paying upwards of $200 a session. And after sinking all of my money into that failed venture of selling ice over the internet, I could use a few bucks. When I arrived, the doctors hooked me up to abunch of machines, asked me an assortment of questions and felt I was an ideal candidate for the experiments. The test was to determine the effects of this Strawberry Nutella Crepe from OMG Crepes in downtown San Diego on the human body. A light and airy Crepe that’s the perfect vessel for fresh Strawberries and heaps of Nutella. Topped with Chocolate sauce and more Strawberries, this amazing dessert is not only tasty but the only test I don’t mind re-taking. Be a guinea pig for this crazy Crepe today. The doctors concluded that the delish dessert causes drowsiness, a stuffed belly, a sore jaw from chewing fast and amnesia. I think I came in with that last one but I don’t remember. So delicious you’ll forget where you parked your car. at OMG CrepesRecently I came across an ad posted that was searching for test subjects in a number of scientific experiments, with participation paying upwards of $200 a session. And after sinking all of my money into that failed venture of selling ice over the internet, I could use a few bucks. When I arrived, the doctors hooked me up to abunch of machines, asked me an assortment of questions and felt I was an ideal candidate for the experiments. The test was to determine the effects of this Strawberry Nutella Crepe from OMG Crepes in downtown San Diego on the human body. A light and airy Crepe that’s the perfect vessel for fresh Strawberries and heaps of Nutella. Topped with Chocolate sauce and more Strawberries, this amazing dessert is not only tasty but the only test I don’t mind re-taking. Be a guinea pig for this crazy Crepe today. The doctors concluded that the delish dessert causes drowsiness, a stuffed belly, a sore jaw from chewing fast and amnesia. I think I came in with that last one but I don’t remember. So delicious you’ll forget where you parked your car. at OMG Crepes

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